The Problems with Professional Communication (2)

The post is in letter correspondance format

Thank you Eunice for a most excellent post!

Here's what you said: "Let us use our lives to make an impact and encourage others by learning how to communicate well. Our reactions and dictions can actually be used to make each other lives a happier one."

Your statements are perfectly fine-sounding, but consider this my good Eunice: supposing others in various states of doldrum knew that you were trying to encourage and make their lives happier, might they be less encouraged and less happy than what you would expect precisely because they knew of your intent in the opposite?

I'm not sure if you have experienced it yourself or with others, but people somehow just don't like other people knowing they are unhappy, discouraged, angry, sad, dismay and many other negative emotions. I'm not sure why too, but it probably is due to some small or large pride of theirs. Even I myself experienced that before. If you are sad because of something, you surely wouldnt want the whole world to know right? You dont ever want to reveal weaknesses in your being/spirit/soul/psyche/nature/mind because we are socialized to know that weaknessess dont reasonate well with the people around us or get them uneasy, and in professional communication, the strangers that we will predominantly encounter. Hence if yours or my susceptibilities were somehow found out by others, which they would surely try to do damage control by rendering moral, mental, emotion support, we might be most unwilling to accept their goodwill if doing so MAKES SURE OF THEM---AND THAT IS EMBARRASSMENT TOO HARD TO TAKE FOR ANY HUMAN BEING!!!!!

Don't anybody see this subtle case in point? Communication is not as easy as ALWAYS making encouraging and positive impact on others' lives. Perhaps in most cases it may be in the past, but in today's modern world, people are getting more self-centered, self-concerned, self-aware; I would even say then that not communicating anything is sometimes the greatest communication of them all! That would be an antithesis to your statement, Eunice.

I would say that people in their doldrum today would expect you to know that they, appreciate of course, but would rather you not give all your tender loving care and minced sweet words to them, if only so their ego/pride isnt done further injustice. In other words, all the encouraging words will hasten their suicide rather than their restoration. I'm not saying this is always true, but the trend I observe INCREASINGLY in and around the spheres of my life in the past and present. I could be wrong, just as well as I am also living in an illusion.

So then if you know that others will know, not of your pretence on your part, but that of the possibility your love and care may cause them more shame, then you must know to also leave them alone, though not as despising, and at least for a while; I speak only of an understated benefit.

Many love