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Brad demands that I make comments on his blog! I love making comments about anything if comments are purposed to bring about some good end to the other party, such as a praise or 'reprimand'. But I do not usually do the latter whether in writing or speech because I do not think I have the interpersonal repertoire nor the confidence to do it yet. That is the reason why I took up ES2007S, so that I can learn to 'reprimand' without least coming across as 'reprimanding'! Sounds wrong? But that's because I was only kidding!
Some people often wrongly conclude that I'm shy to give comments in writing or speech, but the truth is quite the contrary. Like I mentioned above, I love to give feedback and comments of the genre other than that of a 'reprimand', only because it is easier to do so. To give a 'reprimand', 'refutation', negative comment, or advice in common parlance, and then to garland it with all sorts of professional/conciliatory/empathetic/sympathetic verbal and non-verbal cues is a high calling. And that is why I am in the course! In retrospection, what I have mentioned above, I and probably everybody else really did take up ES2007S to learn to 'reprimand'; only nobody, except me I presume, knew this is what they REALLY were in for! Also by some corollary, I would say everything about ES2007S is about 'reprimanding', learning to receive or handle 'reprimands', and arbitrating 'reprimands'---which is the highest level I supposed, and a position that Brad at first glance has deservedly achieved!!
If Brad thought I was shy and timid only because of my seeming silence during the inaugural lesson, that is probably a misjudgment or illusion of appearance! Professional communication is also about taking a back-seat and listening intently, and I was precisely trying to do just that! Besides would everyone agree that restrain is a virtue in professional communication? Giving off correct verbal and nonverbal cues stem from properly exercised restrain, is that right? Therefore, shouldn't my restrain through silence be a marker of a professional communicator or professional communication in practice? With that, shouldn't I be yet more silent and shut-mouthed in the next class session and subsequent sessions, if the more silence produces more positive markers of professional communication and therefore an A+ grade at the end of the semester? If I can't get anybody to believe that (and I wouldn't too), at least I have adequately demonstrated that----professional communication contradicts itself; which is a thesis fit for a 20 page write-up!
Professional communication is the business of life, and where it is concerned there are always contradictory answers because life is not perfect! The solution to the contradiction(s) must be a balance between the contraries. But first what contradiction(s)? For instance both restrain and initiative are contradictory virtues in professional communication and each used apart from the other will fail to achieve the holistic aim of communicating professionally. Then the solution to the contradiction(s) is clearly a balanced mixture of both restrain and initiative, because both virtues (not restricted to only 2 virtues, there may/can be more than 2, but they must finally all be well-balanced with regards to each other) work in tandem to keep professional communication in MODERATION. Therefore where there is moderation in professional communication or for that matter any thing/value/virtue/person in life, there is excellence!!
Professional communication is both moderation-is-excellence and moderation-in-excellence!!! What else could be more true?
Communications happen on so many different levels in so many different ways that it would be highly difficult, if not downright impossible, to boil it down into one single unifying theme. Listening, while probably the most important part of communicating there is, is still not the whole product, as the purpose of communications is to inform, which listening, a 'passive' skill, cannot achieve on its own. Sure, there is 'active' listening, but to be able to communicate that to others, one must still voice out, no? While restrain is admirable, we must also realise that it does not contribute to a 2 way conversation, an essential part of effective communications.
ReplyDeleteThus, one must take the initiative to speak up, even when there is a 'fear' or a 'lack of confidence', for as Brad has already pointed out, being able to speak in front of groups of people takes years of practice. In fact, research has shown that the fear of public speaking trumps over that of Death itself! With fear, there will never be effective communications, for who will speak up? And so, where would communications even come from? Sincerely hope that you will be able speak up more, perhaps even seek to offend, in the coming weeks of lessons. Cheers!
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ReplyDeleteI really do admire the way you write in your blog posts. It sure is lengthy but definitely not boring because it makes me think deeply while I read line by line.
ReplyDeleteI do also notice in class (for 2 classes) now that you are relatively quiet in class and I can understand (after reading this post) why you are so. Like the saying, empty vessels make the most noise. By that though, I am not saying that Brad is like an "empty vessel" because he talks the most, (haha), but rather I am saying that sometimes the quieter ones are the ones who are listening more intently and making the most impact, and you are an excellent example.
However, I doubt you have to prove to anyone that "more silence produces more positive markers of professional communication", or write a 20 page write up about the contradictions of professional communication.
Even if you did somehow prove your theory is valid with a 200 page write up, then imagine if we, as a class, have the same thinking as you, that is to take the back-seat and listen intently, then Brad will be the only one talking in class! Would it not then be similar to Brad giving a webcast lecture on IVLE, instead of holding a class in E3-06-14 with us?
Personally, I think that all of us are different in nature and we know our own strengths and weaknesses. By taking up this module, I feel that some of us want to learn the many skills offered so that we could make up for our own weaknesses. Consequently, becoming an effective and better communicator.
Looking forward to more of your blog posts and contributions in class!
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ReplyDeleteMark, thanks for your effort. This *essay* is clear and detail rich. I can't discuss every aspect of your lengthy post, so let me focus on one area that seems to not advance your control of the assigned topic. That is the idea that the main thrust of ES2007S is on learning how to reprimand.
ReplyDeleteI take issue with that assertion, and with a few of your generalizations and your assumptions about my intentions and thoughts.
When you say that ES2007S is mainly about learning to reprimand (or praise), I wonder if you and I are looking at the same syllabus, course schedule and component assignments. Professional communication includes many skills, but I would never have imagined that reprimanding be singled out as one of them. Again, just look at the syllabus, the schedule and the skillbuilders. Is this really just about praise and reprimands?
Because you focus on that, I feel that you're skirting the real topic for this assignment. You also make assumptions in statements such as the following:
- probably everybody else really did take up ES2007S to learn to 'reprimand';
- everything about ES2007S is about 'reprimanding', learning to receive or handle 'reprimands', and arbitrating 'reprimands'
Both of these seem to hold faulty assumptions. Neither relate *specifically* to you and your need for effective comm skills. In fact, when I read them I feel you are only tangentially discussing the assigned topic.
I don't intend this comment to be a reprimand or praise. I'm making an observation that I hope will help you steer future post more directly toward communicating ideas associated with the intent of the assignment. Or is really that you feel the main comm skill you need to work on is being political correct in your evaluation of other's work?
The other part of this that I find weird is when you judge my and others' intentions. Statements such as
- I and probably everybody else really did take up ES2007S to learn to 'reprimand'; only nobody, except me I presume, knew this is what they REALLY were in for!
- If Brad thought I was shy and timid only because of my seeming silence during the inaugural lesson, that is probably a misjudgment or illusion of appearance!
I would recommend that you avoid putting yourself into other people's brains to the extent that you are apt to second-guess their motivations. That also doesn't help you advance your discussion of why effective comm skills are important for you.
If you have any questions on my comments, please let me know. I appreciate your hard work.
Hi Brad, The thing with the assignment is that arent we suppose to write about what PC means to us before we actually look at module contenet and lesson plans? Don't you want to know the unadulterated and untainted versions of what PC means to each and every one of us? So I feel then that it shouldnt have mattered if a student's perception of what PC means to him/her is wrong or right because what we really want to hear is his/her raw experience? Given that, you couldnt say the experience has no meaning for PC because you deemed it to be so since the it is the student's and its his raw call.I mean you were probably right that reprimanding is hardly a core entity in PC, but that should not matter because students having not taken the module or had no previous experience in PC nor seen its content outline would have written from intuition and spontaneity---and isn't that what makes unique posts in every student's blog? But of course having said that, I must admit I did know quite a bit about some form of PC already, but again that shouldn't have mattered.
ReplyDeleteThat said, I think there is yet another misunderstanding about the word reprimand which isn't the actual reprimand because I placed it in inverted commas---'reprimand'. Thinking that inverted commas weren't going to be enough, I even made a clear point to say I wanted to 'reprimand' without coming across like I'm 'reprimanding'. Maybe it still didn't get the effect I intended and people still clung on to that idea of a real reprimand.
A 'reprimand' isnt a reprimand at all. A 'reprimand' is locutionary is now, due to the inverted commas, an antithesis of the real one. It is now more like praise or some other close equivalent an expert interpersonal communicator will engage in. That is to say instead of using a reprimand he would use a 'reprimand'----he will try to demonstrate emotional intelligence and use the softer method as a way to empower and vindicate his communication rather than involve himself in an awkward and painful encounter because he went a little too hard in.
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ReplyDeleteMy basis for 'reprimand' or even reprimand is that we want to be able to attract and influence people because that is the whole point of professional communication. When we reprimand it is because we want something/someone to meet some expectation of ours. But when we 'reprimand', we also want the same only we are going to go in with the flow and try to blend or camouflage the actual expectation with proactive and placatory cues.
Supposing a guy's gf made some sweeping assumptions about him in front of her parents during dinner, there are many ways through which they guy can approach his gf on the subject without coming across as reprimanding.
With that definition of 'reprimand' it has to be that everything about ES2007S is about 'reprimanding', learning to handle,receive and arbitrate reprimands. And thought my post on PC doesnt relate specifically to actual past encounters or life events like other students', there were nonetheless specific to me in other ways in that I have defined PC as far I could on my own terms---'reprimand'.
Therefore that leaves the only issue at hand that I feel best registers---which is my unsolicited judgement on others and yourself. However, at least I had made the judgement as a springboard to self-reflection, and the focus wasn't really on the other for the intensity of the judgement made would have been far greater. For instance I would have been more unrestrained in using affirmative modals like this: "Brad DEFINITELY think I was shy and timid....", or "everybody else DEFINITELY took up ES2007s to learn to 'reprimand'". And the second sentence isn't quite a judgement because if 'reprimand' has been defined as interpersonal communication then everybody really did sign up for the course to learn interpersonal skills---and I'm not just right but more than right about that!
Nevertheless, with regards to yourself, a judgement is a judgement, an assessment is an assessment I suppose and I'll take note of the points.
Mark, I don't want this to turn into yet another debate about the meaning of words a la Mark. I simply don't have time to try and figure out what sort of special significance you are going to be giving various words in your posts. But as long as you are connecting the word "reprimand" to the concept of interpersonal communication, let me conclude my bit here by saying it might be good for you to really ask yourself how successful your communication with me is at this point. You've written a post and I've told you *how* it strays from my expectation of what a more effective post on the assigned topic should be like. If you want to ignore what I've advised and play semantic games, that is your option, of course. But don't be surprised when I say I still don't understand why you are writing what you are writing.
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